Cringe Festival

This isn’t something I admit readily, but for a long time I had stone-cold cultural cringe about Australia. In particular, local music. Throughout my teenage years, I firmly fostered the bias that Australian songs were inferior to their British and American counterparts. This wasn’t something I marched around announcing at school, more a frequency of filtering that shone harshly while watching rage or listening to Triple J.

It shocks me now, to think back on it. I was essentially the living embodiment of, as Triple J’s Nick Findlay put it, “…a dark time many, many years ago where a large portion of Australian music fans almost didn’t see local acts as being legitimate.” A time before the grunge golden years when the national youth station went into overdrive championing the ‘Gurge, Grinners, ‘Finger and ‘Chair, cooking up a hearty slice of Homebake that Australians could proudly sink their ears into.

“Aussie music is world-class,” Triple J said from 1995 to 2005.
We listened.
Well, most of us did.
For whatever reason, I was a lot harder to convince.



So, where did my national reticence stem from? (It didn’t apply to sport. Our cricketers were world beaters.) Was it inherited messaging or learned behaviour? Was I influenced by a role model? Was it muscle memory passed on through my mother, herself born in the 1950s – the decade where cringe began? To clarify – the thinking was that anything good had to come from overseas, to the point where Germaine Greer and Barry Humphries took off for London, reaping them respect and authority they never would have achieved in their home towns.

Look, I just remember Aussie songs being really daggy in the early to mid 90s. Show No Mercy, Barnsey (and / or Farnsey), ‘Tucker’s Daughters a memory,’ Two Strong Hearts (farts), Southern Sons, Indecent Obsession, Noiseworks ‘Hot Chili Woman,’ Norman Gunston VS Effie. When an Australian song came on, it would just sound a bit… thin … hokey … dare I say it, annoying. Harley and Rose by The Black Sorrows? (In my defence I like ‘Chained to the Wheel’ now.)

Meanwhile, there was Def Leppard, Unskinny Bop, MC Hammer, Deee-Lite, Swamp Thing by The Grid and AC/DC! Hell, the only ‘Australian’ song I liked was Thunderstruck, but I probably thought Acca Dacca were English. (Technically the first Oz song I truly loved was Marvellous by The Twelfth Man feat. MCG Hammer – see, it still had to have an American in it.)



At high school, my friends were fans of Crowded House and Custard, but I had a blocker in my brain. “They’re a bit basic because they’re from around here,” I brooded.
Beck was cool. Radiohead were gods. Oasis was game-changing. Blur were intriguing. Silverchair was… okay, but I found the ‘Freak’ single a bit plodding.

Nope. I was all about Rage Against The Machine. A sound so ferocious, authentic and tough, it could only come from the bright and confident United States. Home of The Simpsons and the NBA and McDonald’s – the cultural trifecta which consumed Burnie in 1993, as daggy AFL memorabilia was sold off to buy Seattle Supersonics skivvies and Dallas Cowboy polar fleeces on special at Fitzgerald’s.

Poor Australian music. I didn’t own a single homegrown CD by the time I went to uni. My cassette collection featured Tommy Emmanuel’s Determination and How Blue Are You? which Carlton Football Club issued in 1991.



Then, Augie March happened. ‘Asleep in perfection’ was the first time I turned on the radio and heard a local songwriter floor me with beauty and urgency. Then came iOTA and George and Cut Copy and The Avalanches and The Sleepy Jackson. By 2001 my CD collection understood that Aussie groups were as valid and sophisticated and satisfying as anything by Granddaddy or Sparklehorse or The Chemical Brothers.

I’m still in rehab to rid myself of the emotional scars of my low self-esteem towards my own culture. I reckon I’ve turned it around to the point where I actively seek out Australian movies and shows. I’m proud of local music I find, whether it’s the Mad Bastards soundtrack or ‘Milkumanna’ by King Stingray or a middle-aged appreciation for Ross Wilson and Mondo Rock. I even made a playlist with two hours of nothing but Australian songs, a defiant statement to satiate the 12 year old from conservative North-West Tasmania, born into a family of staunch liberal voters. Just don’t ask me to pump up Aussie hip-hop.

My favourite band is Sydney’s Richard In Your Mind. I’ve been friends with them for 20 years and watched them produce music inspired by Beck, Ween and The Flaming Lips on par with any of those acts. Heck, on a good day I can be proud of myself and the music I’ve made. Australia is cool, in my book. We don’t have to import credit and respect. Ideas crackle over cane-fields and talent lights up this Great Southern Land.





This was the last of my columns for Canberra streetpress BMA last year. You can read the other six I wrote here.


A playlist I made to accompany this article!



See also: * Lucky I’m With Aimee / The Comedy of Dimity: Remembering Love Serenade
Plus other music related columns in MUSIC


I have a lot of respect for John Farnham now that I’ve seen a documentary about him recently which basically repositioned Whispering Jack as an indie album. I was sitting in the waiting room of my ENT in Fitzroy and this song came on Smooth FM and I was like ‘this is awesome.’ I like how Reasons doesn’t really have any definitive chorus, which is pretty unusual for a song of its kind on the radio.



Stay tuned for my next on the pulse column about why the music of Moby is timeless.


Brought to you by SPOD. Touring with Donny Benet in April




Latest and greatest posts

  • Cringe Festival
    This isn’t something I admit readily, but for a long time I had stone-cold cultural cringe about Australia. In particular, local music. Throughout my teenage years, I firmly fostered the bias that Australian songs were inferior to their British and American counterparts. This wasn’t something I marched around announcing at school, more a frequency of filtering that shone bright while watching rage or listening to Triple J.
  • Justin’s Poetry Showcase
    In August my poem 13 Ways to Drink Chocolate Milk premiered in the Guardian and featured in Red Room Poetry’s 30in30. (There’s a video of me reciting it.) In July I dropped a set at MONA as part of a Tasmanian Poetry Showcase. See 13 Ways to Drink Chocolate Milk poem and video In lieu… Read more: Justin’s Poetry Showcase
  • words that should vamoose, scram, take a hike
    FEELS Draw a line in the cocaine. This is the moment I exit popular / youth culture. The word is FEELING. Having emotions isn’t funky fresh. I mean, the word vegetables is shortened to veggies, but this is like that process on speed and adrenaline. Don’t get me started on the ISO trend of lockdown.… Read more: words that should vamoose, scram, take a hike
  • Dream Burnie Book
    I have a new book out! It’s called Dream Burnie.This book is for everyone. From my home, to yours. Justin Heazlewood’s funny, heart-felt and beautifully designed and illustrated book Dream Burnie is for anyone born or raised in Burnie (or any small town), and every young creative thinking of risking their all. …everyone, it seems,… Read more: Dream Burnie Book
  • World Schizophrenia Awareness Week 2025
    It’s Schizophrenia Awareness Week – again! I know, right. Where does a year go? May 18 – 24. The theme is “Rethink the Label: Reclaim the Story.” I’ve updated this post to create a fairly decent resource for those curious to know more about the galaxy’s most misunderstood everyday condition. There’s just so much stigma… Read more: World Schizophrenia Awareness Week 2025
  • If I am the product, where’s my commercial?
    I was watching the tennis as an ad was repeatedly served to me. It comprised of a white void, dressed with smacks of colourful smoke. The ad posed an odd question. The answer it provided took the form of a mass-produced, moulded drink bottle for children. The next day, I was cycling my emails. I… Read more: If I am the product, where’s my commercial?
  • Ten Years of Funemployed
    In 2014 I wrote a book about what it was like to be an artist in Australia. In my teenage years, the thought of writing a book felt epic and daunting. Penning a tome seemed like an intellectual Titanic. I had fear-streaked visions of sinking to the bottom of my subconscious.
  • Saltwater Wells In My Eyes (Monthly)
    I have a piece in The Monthly. It is about Julian Lennon and the ozone layer. It is also about Burnie and sometimes Captain Planet. It is about male emotions and men crying. It is for the ‘Life Sentences’ column in which writers riff on a catchphrase, lyric or quote that has loomed large in… Read more: Saltwater Wells In My Eyes (Monthly)
  • LOW VOLTAGE
      I went to hold her hand I had to make the journeyover the armrestin the dark   There would be no half-measures No creeping alonglike a bogan ant I waited about an hour It was an arthouse moviewith hardly any plot … ( lucky ) I could barely concentr a t e   I was good old fashioned… Read more: LOW VOLTAGE
  • 2023 Of the Future
    (NOTE: In two thousand and three (aged 23) I wrote a monologue predicting what an Australian future would look like in twenty twenty three for a spoken word event mouth off. I reopened the file recently. Here is an edited transcript). I’m an accountant from the future. I have come to deliver a message. It’s… Read more: 2023 Of the Future
  • Surf City ’93
    The Summer school holidays were turning out to be cool. For starters, Uncle Nigel had rocked up from the mainland to visit Nan & Pop for six weeks. He was the family member I knew the least but was growing to like the most. He was friendly, sporty and above all: a crack up. With… Read more: Surf City ’93
  • Friending Endships
    In high school we’re taught Pythagoras’ theorem and how to use a Bunsen burner – but not life skills like how to end a friendship. Acquaintance Management could have been a three-day tutorial in between sex ed and P.E., including cheeky themes on mental health, self-respect and boundaries; instead it’s outsourced to the “school of… Read more: Friending Endships
  • How Do You Talk To A Depressed Person
    At all. Say anything. Actually fucking talk to them, I would have thought. M e n t a l i l l n e s s is a desert. Communication is water. You can create water out of air, simply by saying ‘action’ and starring in a scene from your favourite film where the beautiful… Read more: How Do You Talk To A Depressed Person
  • From Popcorn to Infinity (and beyond)
    I wrote a column about my love of arpeggiated synths for music site Mess+Noise in 2011. Since then, I’ve observed the explosion in popularity of what has long been my favourite sound in music. In short, it’s a run of synthesizer notes that groove back and forth – sparkling, colourful, magical and mysterious. The audio… Read more: From Popcorn to Infinity (and beyond)
  • The ballad of Nan & Pop
    I have a piece published in Cordite Poetry Review. It’s a Get Up Mum spin-off yarn about the blessed-hectic adventures of Edna & Len Heazlewood. If you are a completist who wants to suss out all the Get Up Mum side-hustles around the ‘net – there’s a piece about Roxy Music’s ‘More Than This’ drifting… Read more: The ballad of Nan & Pop
  • reading reading reading
    I’m not always reading. I wrote a piece for Meanjin about this. I also gave anecdotes to the ABC about self-doubt recently. I answered these questions for Hobart’s Weekend of Reading festival last year. Dig. Q: What is a book that everyone should read? Maus by Art Spiegalman. It’s a graphic novel about the holocaust… Read more: reading reading reading
  • LIME CHAMPIONS
    2009 was the busiest year of my life. I was doing everything. In the space of 12 months I made two albums, wrote and performed a new Comedy Festival show (which encored in Fringe Festival), orchestrated a national album tour, got a gig acting on John Safran’s TV show, wrote monthly columns for Frankie magazine,… Read more: LIME CHAMPIONS
  • the heart of the bollocks
    The lady in front of me was resting her head on some yarn. A good tip for first time travellers! Captured on a gorgeous day on Tasmania’s own Redline Coaches. It marks the final episode of my radio series The Heart Of The Bollocks. I recorded the secret life of buses for Triple J’s Morning… Read more: the heart of the bollocks
  • Dream Player
    My current existential crisis is a fascinating one. I feel original in my contempt for modern circumstances. I was always on the outside, feeling like something spectacularly unusual and formidable was occurring. The parallels between my twelve year old and forty two year old selves are intriguing as well as comforting. I can handle calamity,… Read more: Dream Player
  • Love
    It started off innocently enough. One day, I found him sitting next to a fellow uni student mate of mine. From my glass collecting orbits, I could gather that Pat was a clingy old fullah, who appeared to be doing most of the talking and occasionally reaching for Bruce’s leg. Bruce, the cool customer, stared… Read more: Love
  • Ambient 🌫️ Birdbath
    Anxiety, for the record, isn’t just a general state of feeling worried or uptight. It’s a physical thing. Like being softly electrocuted. It’s a black magic chain of thoughts that hijacks your thinking. It can make you act irrationally. It lives under the skin, like an alien. An agitated immersion in a strange, stricken brew. A cauldron of caution. A maelstrom of malady.

Justin’s Poetry Showcase

In August my poem 13 Ways to Drink Chocolate Milk premiered in the Guardian and featured in Red Room Poetry’s 30in30. (There’s a video of me reciting it.) In July I dropped a set at MONA as part of a Tasmanian Poetry Showcase.

See 13 Ways to Drink Chocolate Milk poem and video

In lieu of all this stanza shenaniganza, I thought I might articulate an overview of my lifelong verse tendencies.




I wrote my first poem when I was five. It’s called Going Up Hill.




My last piece to be published was The Ballad of Nan and Pop for Cordite Poetry Review in 2023.



In my final year of uni I had a column in the University of Canberra mag Curio called Being Justin Heazlewood. I wrote this leavers poem:





Design by Anthony Calvert.




Thinking is Drilling is lifted from my 2018 book Get Up Mum. It was published in the 2022 anthology Admissions: Voices Within Mental Health.




I wrote a thing on Valentine’s Day last year for Justin Heazlewood’s f u z z y ⚡ l o g i c.



My latest book Dream Burnie has an original poem called Truganini Street. I performed it on ABC Hobart breakfast in July.




In grade 12 at Hellyer College I was published in a schools poetry anthology edited by Don College’s Shane Wolfe.

Shane wrote in his forward:

“Now that the idea of assessing specific criteria has come to stalk the halls of education, I’ve always thought it rather a shame that there isn’t a criterion eleven anywhere that states ‘Is able to pull off a decent poem that makes you wonder what the person who wrote it looks like and whether that really did happen to them and whether you’d like them if you met them.’”

I was chuffed to get pole position in the gazette. It would be interesting to revisit the headspace that synthesised Journey to the Six Fold Chamber. It’s a psychedelic time. I would be honoured to have a Boags with my eighteen-year-old self.





Last year I happened upon a notebook belonging to my Pop. It contained my first poem Going Up Hill complete in his handwriting. It has quickly become one of my favourite possessions. I’m intrigued by the events that led to Pop writing the piece down. Perhaps I was coming up with it for the first time and sharing it with him. It makes me think of the excellent movie The Kindergarten Teacher starring Maggie Gyllenhaal where she becomes obsessed with a five-year-old who spouts genius poetry.

The rest of Pop’s notebook is made up of shopping lists and Tattslotto numbers. I carbon dated it by putting “Tattslotto Draw 531” into a search engine. Sure enough, it provided the date of late 1985.


I fell in to a burning ring of people …



words that should vamoose, scram, take a hike

FEELS

Draw a line in the cocaine. This is the moment I exit popular / youth culture. The word is FEELING. Having emotions isn’t funky fresh. I mean, the word vegetables is shortened to veggies, but this is like that process on speed and adrenaline. Don’t get me started on the ISO trend of lockdown. It’s disrespectful to the mental illness community who were experiencing stone cold isolation before and after Covid. Just use normal words around the fundamentals of human psychology so we don’t run the risk of oversimplifying or nullifying them. Feelings aren’t f^%&^g cute, at least not from where I’m cradling them.


DOGGOES / WOOFOS / FUR BABIES

They’re called dogs. We are grown-ups. It’s folksy, it’s hokey, it’s overly familiar and infantilised. It sends a weird message to non-dog worshippers, especially on dating apps. I’m looking at you Dimity, 39.


INTENT

Drinking game: watch the cricket commentary and have a bite of schnapps when Ricky Ponting drops the ‘I bomb.’ You will be morose and plastered by the time Steve Smith has been dismissed for playing some bizarre shot.


LEARNINGS

The language equivalent of a gargoyle who has risen up from the earth to destroy all of mankind. The worst corporate mutation to infect society since the on-sell / thru-connect era of the mid 2000s. Anyone using LEARNINGS should be placed in a vault for retooling. (That said, Max Gawn dropped it on The Front Bar last week and I don’t really fancy taking him anywhere, so free pass for Max if he corners me in a dark alley.)

P.S. The word is LESSONS by the way.
P.P.S. I will accept Learnalilgivinanlovin by Gotye.


COSTINGS

See: LEARNINGS. Sounds like it was made up by a small child.


PRESSURE

The AFL would do well to relieve its own ‘commentary pressure’ by pulling the pin and taking a chill pill on the P pill for a pre-set period. If the word pressure was a commodity it would be extracted from a mine in South America by small children, as it has been well over-mined. It undermines what would be an otherwise quite-boring, low scoring modern game.


STRESS

Pressure is to sports commentary what Stress is to TV journalists. Rent stress, food stress, how about syntax stress? Ever considered that hearing the word STRESS every five minutes is, I don’t know … stressful? Lord, get a thesaurus people. Housing concern, food tumult, climate botheration? Those ‘S’s’ are stirring my hypervigilance. Repeating the same word is just bad writing, he said non-pretentiously.


CHIPPIES

See: DOGGOS. Never say this around me or at any other time, unless you still enjoy single digit birthdays. Exception: the musician Wilding because he is English and lovable and I fancy my chances encountering him in a Melbourne laneway.


SUPER

The biggest weed word since ‘like.’ People are ‘super something’ instead of the 36 other choices. Super excited? Super grateful? Why not try uber, ultra, unbelievably or bloody turbo. I am like, super-vulnerable to the innate trashiness of this extremely popular adverb.

Super used to be a point of derision. Remember the impression you’d do of a perky Canadian saying ‘that sounds super!’ Super was going the way of Awesome which raised the ire of wordsmiths for conjuring the tone of an evangelised Christian camp.

Adults inevitably appropriate the language patterns of youth subcultures as society is still beholden to its over valuing of youth. Does social media speed the process up? Or, are you actually young. It’s a pity as Iga Świątek is one of my favourite tennis players and every time she is interviewed she pollutes her unforced error count with a barrage of S***r prefixes.


Am I reading too much into this?
Should I get a doggo intent on iso and enjoy some learnings pressure?


Sounds like feels stress.

WORDS THAT SHOULD MAKE A COMEBACK AND BE USED IN A SENTENCE BY A COMMENTATOR IMMEDIATELY

Skedaddle

Shemozzle

Kerfuffle

Notwithstanding (a supergroup!)

Curtail

Mesmerising

Crestfallen

Sun-dried tomato (no wait, this is my sandwich order.)

Wisp

Prescient

Onomatopoeia

Curmudgeonly

Phosphorescence

Pillock

Inkling

Tessellations






Discombobulate



Saltwater Wells In My Eyes (Monthly)

I have a piece in The Monthly. It is about Julian Lennon and the ozone layer. It is also about Burnie and sometimes Captain Planet. It is about male emotions and men crying. It is for the ‘Life Sentences’ column in which writers riff on a catchphrase, lyric or quote that has loomed large in their life. John Safran has done it also. Check out the March edition with Kim Williams on the cover.


FUN FACTS:

  • My piece contains research from a forthcoming book I’m writing about Burnie.

  • I always assumed George Harrison played the solo on Saltwater. Not true! It’s actually Steve Hunter. George played a demo, which Steve replicated. George was busy consoling Eric Clapton whose son had just died.

  • Saltwater debuted on the Australian charts in late 1991 and went to number one in March 1992, (knocking off Euphoria’s Love You Right.) It was a slow-climb, eleven weeks in all. (It peaked at #6 in the UK and barely charted in America.) Saltwater held the top spot in Oz for four weeks (impressive!) before being ursurped by….wait for it…

    The 12th Man (featuring MCG Hammer) with Marvellous. Super effort that.

  • This is my Monthly debut. My previous appearance in Schwartz media was when Get Up Mum was reviewed by The Saturday Paper.



  • Water divining is also known as ‘water dowsing.’ It’s making a comeback according to this ABC story.

  • I bought the Saltwater cassingle in 2020 as research for the Get Up Mum theatre show. (If you leave me in a room and give me an arts grant I will go online and purchase cassettes.) The tape is good value as it acts as a ‘Greatest Hits EP’ – mirroring a gag from Northcote (So Hungover).
  • The Monthly doesn’t allow single quote marks, as a rule. I originally intended for the word ‘blue‘ to appear as so.



  • If you would like more information about the status of the ozone (courtesy of Tas. artist Sarah Howell), this article talks about the 2018 CFC emissions from Chinese factories. This article acknowledges the effects of the Hunga Tonga eruption from January 2022. Finally, this 2019 ABC story speaks specifically about the hole in the ozone myth and the sun’s vibes in Tasmania.

Illustration by Leigh Rigozzi

  • Why should one baby feel so hungry she cries? Fair point. Babies do tend to cry when hungry, as a rule, but pedantics over songlyrics is a fraught exercise in long-bow drawing and goal-post shifting.




    I know what Julian means. How is that huge famine going in Yemen anyway? In 2024, over 18 million people (half the population) will need humanitarian assistance. Much of the food insecurity was caused by war. So – to site Julian’s Dad – all we are saying / is give peace a chance is still a valid mantra.

  • Anyway, I’ll stay in my lane. Hyper-local non-fiction with witty puns from the nineties. Please follow this wordpress site (bottom right-hand corner) and subscribe to my mailing list HERE.

  • Julian Lennon update: Having lived for love (and a rockstar career), he’s known as more of a photographer these days. He received so much grief about aping his Dad’s upper register that he didn’t pick up the guitar for seven years. (Tame Impala gets away with it, but has the advantage of biological independence.) Unfortunately, Our Julian went through a bit of an ‘anti-vaxx’ phase along with Eric Clapton. *sigh* Never meet your heroes (online).

    He released a new version of Saltwater in 2016 called Saltwater 25. He said things like ‘it’s still relevant, now more than ever’ which, as you know, is ‘true.’
  • Burnie had a mini oil-spill in the sea only a few days ago! As per the Burnie Council’s FB post: “The polluted water advisory from Council follows an incident involving a delivery truck at Target, resulting in diesel fuel entering the Council’s stormwater network. In consultation with the EPA and TasFire, to ensure the public’s safety, the affected drain was flushed, resulting in the discharge of contaminated water at West Beach – just on the Western side of the playground.” Yikes. There just happens to be a major Little Penguins rookery there. Saltwater wells in my….well, you get the picture.


    Actually, I haven’t cried since I watched All of Us Strangers at Westgarth Cinemas – but that was only because I was a on a date going nowhere slow (much like the film).



How eclectic was the top five in 1992?

1: Julian Lennon – Saltwater

2: Euphoria – Love You Right

3: The KLF – Justified & Ancient

4: Salt-N-Pepa – Let’s Talk About Sex!

5: Nirvana – Smells Like Teen Spirit





 



Check other recently published pieces in Cordite Poetry Review // The Big Issue

From Popcorn to Infinity (and beyond)

cropped-balloon

I wrote a column about my love of arpeggiated synths for music site Mess+Noise in 2011. Since then, I’ve observed the explosion in popularity of what has long been my favourite sound in music. In short, it’s a run of synthesizer notes that groove back and forth – sparkling, colourful, magical and mysterious. The audio equivalent of a palindrome. A mirror image wave form, glowing and sparking on loop like an enchanted roller coaster.

wavy-retro-rainbow1997435-posters

Here’s a quick example – the spritely business partying up the back of Lionel Richie’s Dancing On The Ceiling as demonstrated:

The most popular example of recent times is the Stranger Things opening theme which dropped in 2016. A good example of the slower, more agitating end of the arpeggiator spectrum.


Like the show (set in 1984), the theme was a throwback to a time when pop songs like The Never Ending Story and The Riddle (both released in ’84) and There Must Be An Angel (’85) had a melancholic sonic blowwave wafting ephemerally through the back of the mix.

In 2013 my favourite band Boards of Canada utilised their biggest batch of arpeggiated synths to date in a 1980s John Carpenter soundtrack tribute Tomorrow’s Harvest. Like Stranger Things, they took the warm cosmos of the Popcorn sound and reduced it to a steely, robotic chill.


To me, arpeggiated synths are the sound of infinity. The glorious, cascading, expanding universe of my imagination. The spiritual projection of what I imagine an all-star all-flying glittering afterlife to be. The Never Ending Story’s Fantasia meets Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road.

 

n64rainbowroad.jpg_618x0_

 

A frosted, pulsing rainbow run.

 

Echo nebulas, rebounding through the galaxy.

 

Fireflies of sound, synchronised like hexagons.

In 2011 arpeggiated synths were thin on the ground in alternative music. There was my favourite song of all time Infinity by Guru Josh, in which he synth-bombed a whole decade with his audacious lyrics and a (count it) two minute piano solo. In grade ten I requested Infinity as part of my ‘Hi 5’ favourite songs of all-time played by Michael Tunn on Triple J! For a long time the only copy I had of the extended mix (which wasn’t on the CD album) was the cassette recording from the radio, including the bump where I accidentally pressed record.

Infinity contains what I believe to be the best 20 seconds of recorded music, ever. [2:06 – 2:25 of the 12” version] 


For the rest of the nineties the only place to find arpeggiated synths was in remixes of obscure techno songs like Pizzaman’s Happiness. 2000 marked an indie-rock retro explosion as Grandaddy brought the arpeggiator love on their landmark album The Software Slump. Tracks such as Crystal Lake were striking for the juxtaposition of synth used in a rock song. (The origins of which could be traced back to 1972’s landmark single Virginia Plain by Roxy Music, the same year that Popcorn was released. Pink Floyd’s Dark Side Of The Moon would appear the following year). Radiohead, having successfully married computers on Kid A were soon joined by Wilco with Heavy Metal Drummer and in five years LCD Soundsystem would take the dance/rock fusion full circle.

If xylophone is “the music you hear when skeletons are dancing” (Homer Simpson) then arpeggiators are the sound of a unicorn galloping.

Sometimes I’m asked whether I’ve ever wanted to make my own synth music. Unfortunately I’ve never afforded my own machine to play with. It’s a sweet dream with a long tail. I picture myself locked away in a strawberry-lime studio with lava lamp, buggy posters and velour robe, crafting my own downtempo ambient electronica like a sporty Tasmanian Jean-Michel Jarre.

In 2012 I made an unreleased album working with Melbourne cult-electro wildman SPOD (Brent Griffin) and my favourite psychedelic songwriter Richard Cartright of Sydney’s Richard In Your Mind. SPOD had a vintage Micromoog, the kind of which Popcorn was no doubt composed on. It looks like the dashboard of Dr Who’s Tardis and is about as abstract to operate.

s-l1600

No ‘demo’ button here. You twist knobs and dials, squashing and squelching the soundwaves like a lightsaber manipulator. I watched SPOD with awe reserved for the Level 20 teenagers at my kiddie video arcade. This trucker-capped wizard of rhythm flounced and flocked the unit until it was growling and flanging with the savageness of Tom Morello’s guitar amp.*

Richard had an Oberheim synth with 100 prebuilt effects. He was soon able to recreate the impossibly warm sounds of everything from Take My Breath Away to Great Southern Land. It was exciting just to be in the same room as the equipment responsible for the friendly radio ghosts of my childhood. These unsung studio sentinels evoking the underlying longing and lunar loneliness that make up the soft padded bed of my eighties nostalgia.

oberheim_dsx

Oh yeah, I got to play with synths on my 2009 album Brown & Orange. Hanna Silver had a retro Korg with some delightful presets. The most notable use was this track, which was always a bit of a messy record favourite.


And now, the original column from 2011 followed by some recent examples of my favourite arpeggiated synth based tunes, featuring the likes of Daft Punk, Beach House and Gorillaz. You can make your own arpeggiated sequences on this Online Sequencer if you wish. Dig.

TREBLE TREBLE  // POPCORN AND INFINITY (2011)

flat,800x800,075,f
illustrations by Leigh Rigozzi

 

My first memory of music is listening to Popcorn by Hot Butter. I’m standing beside Nan and Pop’s ‘Stereo Sonic’ entertainment deck with black sponge headphones wrapped around my noggin. I load a cassette into the deck and press down on the chunky metallic button. The oceanic tape hiss fills with a sci-fi whine, followed by a warbly synth waddle of baroque alien ducks and the novelty combustion of a robotic, whistle-ready melody.

I sit mesmerised, staring at a yellow and brown swirl print cushion. These sounds are colour to a blind man. An aurora to a caveman. A Christmas and birthday imagination sandwich. Cerebral sorcery that fits like a tshirt and springs like a trampoline. Music was shaking hands and asking to be my friend.

popcorn

The song continues, the pad chord bed hitting the profound F#m. The vibrations enter my ears like molten fireworks then vapourise, leaving puffs of awe. Popcorn, at once silly and profound, is a Moog minstrel with a weeping heart. The jaunty lead tickles my chin while the broody rhythm of the bridge places a steady hand on my chest. The song is trying to tell me something.

At 1:08, something incredible occurs. The carriage of the song slips off its rails and sails into the air, gliding on a glitteringly gorgeous magic carpet of harpsichord and arpeggiated minor chords. The chords are broken down to their base notes and knitted back together to form a musical spine which flexes and flickers, like the tail of an electric dragon. The sonic flux swings and snakes, mirroring the waves and mountain tops of a stereo equaliser. The luck dragon cycles its way through the dazzling axis of my mind. Lava coated flowers burn red, blue then yellow. My LCD creature zips and darts, spelling mathematical shapes before exploding into rainbows and lightning rods.

After this uplifting bridge the song breaks down into the tribal simplicity of tom drum and tambourine. An anxious two-note timer synth creeps in, adding a sense of urgency. Each layer of instrumentation is cleared, leaving only the ticking of a laser clock, soon blotted out by the squelch of Martian flatulence. It is at once comical and menacing. The sound of a spaceman being obliterated in a Commodore 64 game.

arcade_0160_019

I take off the headphones and gaze at the rows of tapes and photo frames, my head slowly morphing back into shape like ear plug foam. What is this “music?” This kaleidoscope of sounds. I am caught hook, line and syncopation.

My second memory of music is listening to I Just Called To Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder. For this six year old, the song is trumped by the micro-single which opens the tape. The XDR Test Toneburst that sits at the beginning of cassette albums from the era. An audio distress flare sounding out the basic spectrum of tones from sub bass to high treble. An arpeggiated fantail for my brain to decode.


The song plays. I am drawn to the warmth of the synths, blending sweetly with the early 80’s compression and Wonders rich voice. Listening back, I detect lightly arpeggiated notes in the mix, adding a mystical, tinkling ambience – crystal rain on glass. (A similar effect to The Never Ending Story.) The song has a lightweight of melancholy I am drawn to, and while my emotional palette is primitive, my synaesthesiac instincts associate the thick pad of the minor chords with a quiet internal warmth, as my heart increases the blood flow around my body, sending a rainstorm of thoughtfulness to my tummy.

Being a child of the 80’s, it’s little wonder my earliest memories of music are mostly synthesiser based. A glance at the children’s programming of the time shows cult classics such as Ulysses 31 and Mysterious Cities of Gold using the kind of synth-heavy soundtracks that Gary Numan could take back to his laser pyramid. I recently rewatched Mysterious Cities of Gold and found to my delight that not only had the animation aged gracefully, but the soundtrack was a full bodied tremolo dreamscape.


One of my first cinema memories was the opening credits to The Never Ending Story, featuring the title track playing while the camera tracked over dreamy clouds. While the single already contained brilliant melodic structure and a rousing chorus, my brain was excited by the arpeggiated bed, sublimely oscillating in the background like robo piano roll. Coupled with the epic adventure of the film, The Never Ending Story made me want to melt from happiness and sadness all at once. Add the prettiness of the childlike empress, the savagery of the wolf and ARTAX! and you have an original sex and death soundtrack with training wheels.

A few years later, in 1990, I would accidentally bump into the greatest arpeggiated synth sequence of all time. The song was called Infinity by the UK artist Guru Josh. The song revolved around a melody played on saxophone utilising a stirring F-C-G chord sequence similar to that found in Manic Street Preacher’s If You Tolerate This, Live’s Lightning Crashes and Scatman John’s Scatman.


Behind the sax are heavenly orchestral pad synths punctuated by a subtle oscillation of notes, brilliantly complimenting the chord sequence but not yet fanning all the hues to its peacock tail. It’s an ambitiously anthemic and acutely ambient opening, especially when listened to through earnest young ears.

The verses comprise of Guru Josh staking audacious claim to the entire decade “1990’s – time for the guru” backed by some industrial Terminator-esque effects and scattershot house beats. A looming three note bass line keeps the track in check while Guru Josh scats some ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ landing somewhere between Max Headroom, Kraftwerk and David Koresh.

At the two minute mark of the extended mix we are treated to a twenty second burst of what I have, for most of my life, accepted to be the greatest section of music ever recorded. The chorus chords are reprised with an arpeggiated lead running brightly over the top. The stirring ambience of angelic electro wash, flush with a dramatic major to minor chord change are punctuated with a constellation of digital train tracks whose rise and fall evoke the exotic quasars of my spatial awareness. It’s like a squadron of effervescent sprites line my kinetic pathways, waving brilliant sonic pom poms as I run a victory lap around my swirling fantasia – the music shining a neon blacklight on the dream bursts of my mind’s eye – a cross between the last rainbow level in Mario Kart, the time travel scene from 2001: A Space Odyssey and a Flaming Lips concert.

justin popcron illo 2

The reverb on the mix evokes an underwater dream – the audio equivalent of bubbles bursting as they rush to the surface. It is not dissimilar to Caribou’s Sun at the 3:40 mark, from a house album he wanted to sound organically underwater. Infinity creates a magic speedway inside my imagination where natural and synthetic are one. Circuits become veins and stars turn to pixels. I am the king of colours – flying through a psychedelic utopia, smelling the freshness and licking tears from my lips.


For a period of my teenage years, Infinity was my drug. I would slip on the earphones, press play on my walkman and escape. I lived for the arpeggiated section, and thankfully, after an astoundingly lengthy (2:05!) piano solo, Infinity offers a sixty second outro of the enchanting sequence, spiralling skywards before dipping and dissipating into a mushroom cloud of ambience.

Infinity_(1990)

I was finding my own non-druggy relationship between electronic dance music and hallucinating. During car trips, I’d disappear into deep trances, triggering the stained glass screensaver of my mind. In grade ten I fully explored this concept with a short film I wrote called Infinity. The story revolved around a DJ who believed that if you took the live speaker wires and inserted them directly into the brain, while high on a certain drug, you could physically transform and “become the song.” (It was not long after The Lawnmower Man where the protagonist became pure energy via virtual reality). In the final scene two investigators burst into the DJ’s compound (bed-sit) to find he has been successful with his experiment. On his bed burns the infinity symbol, rendered in blue flames.

220px-Space_Demons_front_cover

What I was expressing was my deep desire to completely connect with electronic songs like Popcorn, The Never Ending Story, Infinity and whatever was happening on my Strictly Techno 2 cassette. I wanted to trip as hard as I could, powered by my imagination and a box of Nerds. Like in the book Gillian Rubenstein’s Space Demons where the characters are trapped inside a video game, I wanted to be sucked inside these songs – able to fly along the sonic dimension they existed within. I could hear and see music, I wanted to be able to touch, taste and smell it as well. I don’t think many other people my age wanted to smell anything to do with Guru Josh. He had a goatee and always looked sweaty. (I later discovered he fell out of favour after publicly supporting Thatcherism).

My love of arpeggiated synths continues to this day, and I’ve been drawn to it in recent alt-rock tracks such as Grandaddy’s The Crystal Lake, Wilco’s Heavy Metal Drummer and the music of Ratatat. I’ve used it on one of my own songs For The Love I Have For You, to moderate success, but have resisted the urge to buy my own keyboard. I fear that once I find the arpeggiation settings and put on the cans, I’ll swim down a sonic wormhole of no return.

FURTHER LISTENING — A PHOENIX DOUBLE HELIX

flat,800x800,075,fThe Gorillaz Plastic Beach features an arpeggiator drop so satisfying that the comments reference the 0:41 point of the song!

When you’re sleeping and your body does that fake fall thing
When you’re playing Rock paper scissors in the mirror and you win.

Gorillaz // Plastic Beach

Slow Meadow // Artificial Algorithm

DIG ON THE FULL PLAYLIST…

DX-Ball

* Rage Against The Machine made their guitars sound like electronic effects, and each album contained in the liner notes “no samples, keyboards or synthesizers used in the making of this record.”

CONTINUE READING:

  • Another musical deep drive on Aimee Mann.
  • A tribute to listening to music on your lonesome All By My Shelf.
  • You can check the three other music columns on Radiohead, Selling Out & Sex in Indie Music here.

LIME CHAMPIONS

2009 was the busiest year of my life. I was doing everything. In the space of 12 months I made two albums, wrote and performed a new Comedy Festival show (which encored in Fringe Festival), orchestrated a national album tour, got a gig acting on John Safran’s TV show, wrote monthly columns for Frankie magazine, went in Comedy Festival Roadshow, moved house, broke up and fractured my humerus in a bicycle mishap.

I didn’t necessarily need a time intensive weekly sketch radio show to helm, but the thing was, I’d accidentally-on-purpose landed this dream opportunity to go wild creatively on a respected citywide platform.  

I’d been going into Triple R a lot to appear on the spoken word show Aural Text, hosted by poet Alicia Sometimes. Each summer, the tradition was regular hosts took holidays and had a b-team fill in. I agreed to take on a four episode fill-in job for Aural Text, 12-2pm Wednesdays.

I gathered together a hit crew of my favourite alt-comedy pals. We wrote some sketches and ideas. We brought scripts in to perform live. We lined up interviews with local notables such as Marieke Hardy. While our interview skills left a lot to be desired, station manager Mick James was so impressed with our comedy that he had to stick his head in at one point to confirm we were actually busting it live.

“You’re the most organised summer-fill I’ve ever seen,” he said.

It boded well.

By the end of our month, Mick was a fan. He offered us our own regular timeslot. We ended up kicking out the long-running comedy show in the Monday 7pm slot. They weren’t exactly happy about it. They gave us six months. The show ran for five years.  

Thrilled with this promotion, we went to town. Writing, recording and home-editing our own sketches. We would leave ourselves room to do a news and reviews segment live in the studio. Add in special comedy guests and maybe one silly song and you had the hour.

Damien Lawlor was the unofficial captain of the good ship weird. His unbridled tenacity single-handedly kept the thing alive. Charlie Brooker grade genius engine of under the skin, on the money, in your face segments including the long-running Hugh Jackman Diaries and hyper-local gems such as Punt Road & Music Snobs Through The Ages.

Josh Earl was his loyal lieutenant. He brought whip-smart pop-cultural satire smarts to add lightness to Damien’s odd nebula. Songsmith laureate Craig Lee Smith made up his own songs about towels & biscuits.


Hats off to Eva Johansen, member of cabaret comedy act Caravan Of Love. I think she is a vocal genius. One of the main reasons I’m kicking off this reel is to share her delightful talents.

Lime Champions! Sketch comedy for men and women. It was a lot of work. It was a lot of fun. It was on when people were getting tea ready. I’ve been carrying around a CD of my favourite originals. I think they’re okay.

Beep. Whiz. Splat. Sounds to that effect.  

LIME CHAMPIONS IS AVAILABLE ON BANDCAMP

(Bonus sketches available if you buy the little album.)

  • For more LIME CHAMPIONS you can check out this sampler.
  • Witness Tony Martin’s stunning cameo as Gary Sizzle.
  • The more discerning / daring among you can investigate the arthouse disturbia of Damien Lawlor on the Lime Champs Channel.

the heart of the bollocks

The lady in front of me was resting her head on some yarn. A good tip for first time travellers! Captured on a gorgeous day on Tasmania’s own Redline Coaches. It marks the final episode of my radio series The Heart Of The Bollocks. I recorded the secret life of buses for Triple J’s Morning Show.

The wheels on the tape go round and round.

My playful docu-radio series from 2003 has been unearthed from the vaults. I’m not a has been, I just had early success at a time before social media, so a lot of my output aired once and never surfaced again. Can you imagine? Appointment radio. You’re either listening at 10:30 AM on a Wednesday or you’re toast as far as being an early adopter of visionary pioneer rapscallion Justin Heazlewood’s unique take on the vibe goes.

INSTAGRAM IN THE 1980s

All episodes are now available on bandcamp.

In 2003 I was keen to follow up my songwriting segment on Triple J’s Morning Show. There was a new team onboard and they didn’t have a lot of budget. I ended up doing a bit of work experience. I’d just moved to Sydney for a girl and was finding it all a tad overawing. To break the ice with my new city I felt like running around with a DAT recorder and using the authority of being ‘Justin from Triple J’ to create some casual, whimsical vignettes.

The Heart of the Bollocks features my original music and poetry – honed from regular appearances at Tug Dumbly’s alternative poetry night Bardfly’s at the Friend In Hand pub in Glebe. One of the punters there heard my segment and said he liked how it just washes over you.

Here is it, twenty years later – still sounding fresh i guess.

There were four in all. I will post a new one each week under this link so watch this space and subscribe to my channel, buster.

Happy banking.

Produced by Justin Heazlewood in Sydney, 2003.
Hosted by Steve Cannane.
Commissioned by Kyla Slaven.
Cover photo by Tammy Winter.

Banks! contains a sample of Benito Di Fonzo’s poem “I’m frightened, and I want my money.”
Streets! contains a lyrical sample from “Feather In Your Cap” by Beck.

Ambient 🌫️ Birdbath

Do you have anxiety? If so, I’m sorry to hear that.

So dew eye, for what it’s worth. 👀

[Refer to the mockmarket of the soul and current value of a shitcoin]

2023 – could it be the year of beating anxiety?
I’d say ‘war on anxiety’ but that doesn’t sound much fun (or a change).
Pillow fight with mental health? Slightly sexy.
Passive aggressive standoff with your other half?

Hot.

My point is, Moby has just dropped an ambient album. (Do you ‘drop’ ambient albums or release them as one might release a mist?) He says it’s about helping tackle his anxiety. A donation to the cosmos. Cool. I dig it.

Anxiety, for the record, isn’t just a general state of feeling worried or uptight. It’s a physical thing. Like being softly electrocuted. A black magic chain of thoughts that hijacks your thinking, making you act irrationally. It lives under the skin, like an alien. An agitated immersion in a strange, stricken brew. A cauldron of caution. A maelstrom of malady.

Ambient music is a perfect antidote. It’s slow, for starters. Anxiety travels at the speed of unsound. It doesn’t help that the pace of the world has been increasing (along with the temperature) for the past thirty years. In 1990 we had grunge music with a bpm in double figures. Folks now listen to podcasts at double speed. Cramming data isn’t precisely what consciousness evolved for.  

Set your position to pause.
Mood quake serenade.

Ambient music (also known as new age) may be an acquired taste. It might not be your cup of herbal tea. ☕

Ambient is spacious. It doesn’t have beats or lyrics, much. It’s a space, man. It doesn’t ask much from your mind. You can slip on your life cancelling headphones and soak in the sound. Let your thoughts play host to singular, spaced notes. Slow honey for a blow up head.

It’s a gentle suggestion. I’m a fan of Brian Eno and Harold Budd and Radiohead. The latter had a crack at ambient with ‘Treefingers’ from Kid A. It was pretty (chime) ballsy of them. That album was popular. This is probably my first ever experience with ambient music. YouTube comments suggest ‘Treefingers’ is “the one everyone skips.” Honestly, I would be included in that. Young men are not famous for their patience – but it wouldn’t surprise me if it made a comeback. The world is much more electronic instrumental savvy than it was in 2000.

Don’t worry if you don’t know where to start (or end). The beauty of Spotify is you only need one song to connect with and then select the radio for that song. That’s all I’ve been doing for five years really – unboxing a pandora’s pantheon of timestretched permusations.

Stockpiling chillout I can access in the fraction of a migraine. 🧠

Heck, sometimes technology works in favour of mental health. Maybe this is the only time. Perhaps you find success with meditation apps? Personally I can’t stand someone lecturing me. Having said that, Lemon Jelly do have a song called ‘Nervous Tension’ which is basically a self-help tape set to music.

From my new years meanderings I see there’s a recently released The Art Of Meditation by Sigur Ros. Electronic dude Jon Hopkins put out a Meditations single in 2020 & Music For Psychedelic Therapy in 2021 (the latter is a bit rich for my blood). Meanwhile, my good friend Conrad Greenleaf released the ambient album Dreamtape last year – so it’s in the zeitgeist, surely.

There’s even Tasmanian based ambient artists such as Leven Canyon & All India Radio.

Chillout was huge in 2000, so it might be experiencing a twenty year ambiversary.  

If you’re fond of sand dunes and salty air

Quaint little villages here and there

Groove Armada – At The River

There are other strategies to combat anxiety:

  • A sleep routine.
  • Talking to a psychologist.

  • Lying in a dark space with a weighted blanket.
  • Repetitive movements such as playing an instrument, walking, swimming or massage.

It’s worth trying everything. Make it your hobby – discovering pockets of air within your dark cloud. 🫧

Unrest is the best that life can offer, sometimes.

Make the most of finding a way to live with it.

The

brain

is

a

funny

alien.

Welcome

to

the

animal

that

chose

you.

Half the fun is remembering how to train it.

Finding the time to take it for walks.

Perhaps ambient music acts as a holodeck, allowing you to return to a home planet
green and purple and blue and grey – where the days stretch out like dreams and the atmosphere is so gentle you find it easier to float.

You don’t have to meditate to listen to ambient music. You don’t need ambient music to meditate. Both are notoriously niche and slippery to appreciate. I file them under exercises for exhausted people. Or, there are 200k worse things you can do on your phone.

Take care in there.

Justin, 2023.   *

  • please see my little playlist elbow, I mean below.

… THE LATEST ISSUE OF MY fuzzy logic GAZETTE …

… MY LATEST COLUMN struth be told CONCERNING spotify AND ambient vibes …

All By My Shelf

“Just take those old records off the shelf. I sit and listen to them by myself.”

Old time rock ‘n’ roll by Bob Segar. It’s a song about being by yourself. Solitude. This poor bloke, just wanting to listen to his nostalgic music collection. It’s uncanny that this song is one of my standout memories from primary school. As juniors we would sit in a circle as our music teacher put it on.

“Now, just listen to it as an example of recorded music. What can you hear?”

Some funky low-end. That breakbeat drop out bit. A curmudgeonly old rocker that seems to have stayed the same age as I caught up. Thirty years later and I’d be the one taking old records (and old CDs) off the shelf. I’d also be in fair agreement that today’s music ‘ain’t got the same soul’ – caught in the double-bind that simply admitting that is some kind of cultural own goal – basically advertising your own irrelevance to the younger, hipper generations. But then, who needs words to do that when I have my colourless hair?

(Bob Seger is considered the godfather of belligerence. He was the first Boomer to slag off the generation after him, a sentiment now carried in alarming numbers across every second youtube comment on any song released before 1980. Is it fitting that the music he’s dissing is probably the very early 80s soft-rock that I now commandeer?)



There aren’t enough cool, tough songs that casually mention being by yourself. (“Maybe he’s born with it….maybe it’s Radiohead.”) 90% of songs are about love and 90% of those are propaganda for couples, basically saying ‘being alone is the price you pay for fucking up love. So… love…don’t fuck it up!’

I remember feeling haunted by music in the wake of my relationship strike in 2009. Music became a surveillance ghost as tunes trailed me onto the bus.

“I can’t live if living is without you.”

“I know I’ll never find another you.”

“How am I supposed to live without you?”

I fought back with my first purchase of over-ear headphones and a predilection towards ambient electronic music. Boards of Canada, Four Tet, early Caribou – they had no words. I didn’t have any songwriters’ agenda being pushed onto me – like a liquified diary spray-painted on my garden wall.

Now, I’m sort of enamoured by mid 80s ballads that so brazenly and eloquently declare a stoically melancholic mood.

“Look at me standing / here on my own again / up straight in the sunshine
No need to run and hide, it’s a wonderful, wonderful life
No need to laugh or cry, it’s a wonderful, wonderful life.”

Black, Wonderful Life (1987)

From the inappropriately boppy cover by Ace Of Base at my high school social*, to truly comforting black velvet cloud of nostalgia and ambience in my ballads playlist – this song has had a journey. I love that it’s by an artist known simply as Black.

* no wait, I’m thinking of the Ace Of Base song Beautiful Life – but then they did do a cover of Wonderful Life but not until 2002, when I heard it somewhere other than a high school social – you’d hope.

As a member of the solitude community, I deeply respect its acknowledgement of the simple truth that human life can be played out in relationship exile, through no particular design or fault of anyone. It’s a slight change from the default whitewash of families and couples that the large proportion of recorded advertising media is concerned with.

It has been suggested recently that there is still an obvious bias against single people. For example, theatre tickets are usually sold as pairs and sometimes single seats can’t be bought towards the end. (See: victory for spinster theatregoers)

Single people are assumed in deficit.

I’ve often thought, if you are by yourself and your main impression of this position is a sense of being incomplete, then how problematic is that?

(See: my 20s)

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

French philosopher Blaise Pascal (in the 1600s)

When there’s nothing to lose and there’s nothing to prove
Well, I’m dancing with myself

British philosopher Billy Idol (in the 1980s)

‘All By Myself’ ruined Christmas. It’s such a crass take on the quiet, moving, wryly sophisticated juxtaposition of ‘Wonderful Life.’ Lately I’ve thought that Cat Stevens’ ‘Another Saturday Night’ also does justice. It humanises the lonely characters’ plight.

Another Saturday night and I ain’t got nobody
I got some money ’cause i just got paid
How I wish I had someone to talk to
I’m in an awful way.

SAM COOKE, another saturday night (1964)

As an aside, I don’t think I ever knew this was a cover.

A hit that was largely background to me now plays as a doom-pop appraisal of a sometimes weekly predicament. For most of my 20s and early 30s, Sunday afternoons were the hardest part of the week to trawl through. Something changed in my mid 30s. As I began to make peace with my childhood blues, I realised that a social deadzone for making plans with pals was Saturday night. And so, a sense of foreboding and pressure built up, so that each Saturday afternoon felt like a mini New Year’s Eve without the parties or fireworks.

It was as if I had a weekly reminder that I was single. ‘Just think Justin,’ the cruel checklist insisted, ‘all those lovely young things out there on dates, together. All those long-term couples, meeting up with the other couples. And you, buddy, here, in this room, by yourself –  as proof you exist.’

Ah, but see, I was never alone. How can I be truly lonely when I have music?
Music is magic. Straight up.

It’s a message
in a bottle
full of oxygen
I can dream.

And if music outstays its welcome then there’s always some kind of movie. And if that isn’t what the doctor ordered then surely beer rounds everyone up and wraps them in a team huddle and gives them enough of a pep talk to convince all the moving parts of the generous, loving, hope-drenched, melancholic_ambient person to crack on and forget about the flim-flam of the dickheads outside, that yabbering on is overrated and we have all the low-lighting and controlled-volume environment we could ever want right here.


It’s a wonderful, wonderful life with old time rock ‘n’ roll.

JJ Cale, he’s my man. The guy isn’t even alive anymore. What’s the point of meeting anyone, if I can’t even tell him how in awe I am of his music?

Related reading: i is the loneliest letter (2022)
Thanks: Will Hindmarsh for suggesting 'Dancing With Myself.' 

Phonze! – Birthmark ’22

This is an album I made when I was eighteen and my nickname was Phonze! I’ve reimagined / remixed it with never released tracks and field recordings from the era.

Suss it out on Bandcamp

Kurt Cobain, Shane Warne, stoners and skaters – girlfriends and god references – it’s a rough and tumble time capsule from the late 90s by a dude right into Beck and Radiohead exploring his own internal cosmos while honouring friends and Volkswagens with whatever means necessary. Brought to you by Sony Walkmans, Washburn guitars & Windows 95. 

FOLLOW YOUR HEART OR PULL IT APART

Cliché